Regular, and irregular visits are probably the single most important thing you can do to keep your loved one’s care givers in their toes with regard to maintaining scheduled care such as bed turns, baths, medications, and food. Often, the nursing home residents who receive the worst care are those who receive little or no attention from family and friends. Given the challenging work load of nursing home care givers, it’s not hard to understand how the quiet grandmother who never receives a visitor can receive less attention than the resident who is visited regularly and who’s family and friends take a role in their well being. Knowing the exact medications that have been prescribed and the schedule of meds is very important. Ask for it! And make sure the staff knows you are knowledgeable about how these medications affect your loved one. The staff needs to know that you are knowledgeable about your loved one’s care. When you visit, visit regularly and be unpredictable; short visits, longer visits, and at different times of the day. Ask the staff questions about what has taken place since you last visited. How did they sleep, eat, etc., while you were gone? This will convey your interest in their care. Don’t be afraid to keep notes about events or complications that occur. It’s also a good idea to keep a written record of your visits and the conditions you observe over time. You may not remember a bruise or skin test appearance weeks or months later if you don’t write it down.
Since most facilities maintain a set staff it is a good idea to get to know the people who are caring for your loved one. Learn their names, ask about their families and get to know them. Bring donuts or other treats that your loved one can share with staff and other residents. Make friends with these people and they will be much more likely to be attentive to your loved one’s needs. It is also a good ideas to make friends with family members of other residents. If your schedule does not allow you to be present as much as you like, these other relationships will help assure the proper care of your loved one. When my mother was in the hospital, we met a very loving woman who was spending 24 hours a day at her husbands bedside, without the involvement of any other family or friends. We started talking with her and ended up developing a relationship that allowed us to check in on her and her husband during our visits and even give her a break once in a while, while she served as another set of eyes to help us assure that my mother was receiving the attention she required.
Ultimately, care givers are human and will give the best care to those who they know and like, and to those they know are involved and paying attention. Just because the nursing home is capable of caring for your loved one 24/7 does not assure that they will to your standards. Stay involved to make sure your loved one receives the best possible care and knows they are still very much, your loved one.
